Here are some well… tips for fun parenting if you find yourself in these situations and need a good laugh.
I have shared some stories with some friends of things I did with my kids growing up that they found hilarious so I thought I would share them with you, not that you have to go out and do it as well.
THE DYING COCKROACH
One night my kids wouldn’t go to bed. The 2 oldest girls were just giggling upstairs and talking. They were around 7 and 8 at the time. It is a school night and Marie and I are at our wits end as to how to get them to bed, so I decided to bring them down stairs. THE DYING COCKROACH!
In the military I learned a few things and this always worked on my soldiers and harmless so I thought… why not. I told my kids they can stay up as long as they wanted on 2 conditions; one, they couldn’t make a sound and 2, they had to stay in the position I placed them both in. They, thinking this was a game was all for it.
I had them lay flat on their backs with their legs and arms straight in the air. All they had to do was keep them up there as long as they could or go to bed. They were determined that this was fun and proceeded to do as instructed.
The poor youngest was ready to quit from the start but seeing big sis hanging in she didn’t want to quit. Her legs and arms started to shake and squirm (hence the name) and she asked to go to bed. My eldest was even funnier. Though she struggled and struggled with arms shaking she wouldn’t quit. But her arms gave way… I gave her a rub down of her arms and said I was proud she hung in so long but it is time for bed. I asked her to be quiet as her sister was already asleep and she did.
Needless to say there were tears in my eyes as well as Maries because it was so funny to watch our children so determined not to go to sleep that they would rather flail their arms and legs around just to stay up. Depending on their mood, if asked to do the Dying Cockroach they went right to sleep or came down giggling and defiant but they are my children.
WHERE THEY GO??
Have you ever asked a child to run into the store for you for a quick item? If so hopefully they are preteens or older as I would hate to say send your babies in to get their own milk. What I like to do when we are together and they run into the store is to move the car behind a larger vehicle or around the corner but still able to see the door. That is important because they look on their faces when they walk to where you parked only not to be there is classic.
Now I have done this bit a few times so my kids would even say, “Now dad, don’t move the car this time!” But at the same time the other kids are saying “Move the car dad, move it!” They all find it funny when not on the receiving end of it but never and I MEAN NEVER ever play this trick on the mother of the children as it is hilarious to all in the car but not funny to her at all and soon find yourself not laughing too long either.
LEFT ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!
What?! You never wanted to kick a screaming child out of the car and just drive off? Ok so I didn’t really do that as it would be dangerous, but one time they just wouldn’t be quiet nor did they listen to my threats of pulling over and letting them out. So out of frustration and sanity sake I pulled over, looked at them, got out the van, locked it and started to walk away. The silence was deafening even as the cars on the highway roared past I can hear the quiet in the van.
I just kept walking and walking, but slower and slower until the door opened up and I heard a scream… “WE ARE SORRY!” with that I turned around and slowly walked back to the van and without a word I got back in, buckled up and started down the road. Yes, Marie was in the van with the kids and kept looking at me waiting for me to say something. The kids all had tears in their eyes. I don’t know what she said to them if anything but I glanced over to her and she had this huge grin biting her lip not to laugh. Too late, the eldest saw it and said “That wasn’t funny!”
Ummmmm yes dear it was.
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